An Indonesian colleague once asked me why Americans always have to show their anger. Of course it’s a stereotype to say that Americans always show their anger, just as it’s a stereotype to say that Javanese are always soft, gentle and calm. Stereotypes, after all, are merely fixed impressions of a group of people that exaggerate a few obvious traits. We all know people who do not fit the image. Stereotypes can be useful, though. They have helped me predict how people of another culture might behave, and they have also helped me interpret behavior I see that goes against my own cultural norms.
Take, for example, the stereotype that the people of Central Java are soft, gentle, and calm, idealizing harmony and avoiding conflict. Hearing this stereotype ahead of time helped me to anticipate what I should expect when I first moved there. When the cook we had just hired broke one of my favorite dishes, for example, she handed it to me and smiled. I didn’t think it was one bit funny. Had I not heard stereotypes about how the Javanese idealize politeness and self-control, though, I would have been baffled by her behavior. As it was, I knew her smile was simply covering up her embarrassment in an effort to avoid conflict.
During my 36 years on the island of Java, I have seen the truth of this Javanese stereotype ring true many, many times. I can honestly say that I have never met any group of people in Asia more obsessed with maintaining harmony and avoiding conflict than the people of Central Java. Some of my Javanese friends and acquaintances here literally agonize over how to please others. They do everything in their power not to disappoint anyone. To reduce the likelihood of conflict, they think ahead and strategize, removing any potential problems that could possibly cause misunderstandings. Sometimes when they are faced with a problem, as an American friend of mine discovered, they simply carry on, pretending the problem doesn’t even exist.
When my friend came to visit Indonesia with a tour group, they stayed in Jogjakarta and visited batik home industries, silver workshops, and temples. One evening, she said, they were scheduled to go to Solo an hour away to watch a well-known dance performance. They dressed up for the evening and were picked up at their hotel to go by bus to Solo with a local Javanese tour guide. Along the way, they chattered excitedly, looking forward to the evening with great anticipation. When the group arrived at the theater, however, they were flabbergasted to find a sign on the door that read ‘Closed on Mondays’. Irritated, they asked the local tour guide why on earth he hadn’t checked ahead of time.
“But I did check ahead of time,” he said. “I knew it was closed on Mondays but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to disappoint you!”
That night the truth of those stereotypes rang true. The American tourists learned just how far some Javanese will go to avoid conflict, and the Javanese tour leader learned just how openly some Americans will show their anger!
Take, for example, the stereotype that the people of Central Java are soft, gentle, and calm, idealizing harmony and avoiding conflict. Hearing this stereotype ahead of time helped me to anticipate what I should expect when I first moved there. When the cook we had just hired broke one of my favorite dishes, for example, she handed it to me and smiled. I didn’t think it was one bit funny. Had I not heard stereotypes about how the Javanese idealize politeness and self-control, though, I would have been baffled by her behavior. As it was, I knew her smile was simply covering up her embarrassment in an effort to avoid conflict.
During my 36 years on the island of Java, I have seen the truth of this Javanese stereotype ring true many, many times. I can honestly say that I have never met any group of people in Asia more obsessed with maintaining harmony and avoiding conflict than the people of Central Java. Some of my Javanese friends and acquaintances here literally agonize over how to please others. They do everything in their power not to disappoint anyone. To reduce the likelihood of conflict, they think ahead and strategize, removing any potential problems that could possibly cause misunderstandings. Sometimes when they are faced with a problem, as an American friend of mine discovered, they simply carry on, pretending the problem doesn’t even exist.
When my friend came to visit Indonesia with a tour group, they stayed in Jogjakarta and visited batik home industries, silver workshops, and temples. One evening, she said, they were scheduled to go to Solo an hour away to watch a well-known dance performance. They dressed up for the evening and were picked up at their hotel to go by bus to Solo with a local Javanese tour guide. Along the way, they chattered excitedly, looking forward to the evening with great anticipation. When the group arrived at the theater, however, they were flabbergasted to find a sign on the door that read ‘Closed on Mondays’. Irritated, they asked the local tour guide why on earth he hadn’t checked ahead of time.
“But I did check ahead of time,” he said. “I knew it was closed on Mondays but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to disappoint you!”
That night the truth of those stereotypes rang true. The American tourists learned just how far some Javanese will go to avoid conflict, and the Javanese tour leader learned just how openly some Americans will show their anger!